What I want you to know:
- I will always love you.
- No-one will ever fill your place in my heart.
- Of all the things I will miss, never hearing you laugh is what I grieve most of all.
- I hope you look just like your daddy in your new body, so I can recognize you when we meet again.
- I loved everything about your little earthly body, even the things that were "anomalies" and consequences of your condition; like your tiny webbed fingers. I wish I had kissed every one of them.
- I will never regret the existence of your short life.
- I will always recognize you as a part of our family.
- As sorry as I am that I never got to know your Grampa Craig, I'm so glad that he was there to greet you in Heaven.
- I am thankful for your innocent soul, and that you never had to experience the pain of this world.
- You will always be my baby boy; my firstborn.
- I miss you more than words can express.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
"Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
D-Day
Isaiah 61:3 "To all who mourn in Israel, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory."
I'm holding tightly to the promises in this verse this week. I had a wonderful trip with my family last week. It was such a blessing to spend such a fun time with my parents and youngest siblings, and an even greater blessing to come home to my wonderful hubby. But now it's today. And Wednesday is just around the corner, and THAT is the day I've been dreading for quite some time. March 21st was supposed to be the day that marked the end of our joyous anticipation, and the realization of so many hopes and dreams. It was supposed to be the beginning of a new era in the Anderson household. An era filling with the sounds of baby cooing and giggling. I should be sitting here now HUGELY pregnant complaining about how uncomfortable I am and how ready I am to have Jude. Instead I'm sitting here blogging to ask you all for continued prayer this week as we come up on not only Jude's due date, but also the 3 month anniversary of his death. Wednesday.
Overall this month has been pretty good. Staying home has been a blessing as we have been able to spend much more time with each other than when I was working. But it has also been hard as we heard news of another dear couple that we know and their devastation at the loss of their first born baby boy. We have felt as though we're living through much of the pain of the beginning all over again with the knowledge of what they are going though. Different circumstances, but ultimately, the pain is the same. We have prayed continually for them, and ask for your prayers for them as well.
One of our biggest prayers almost since the beginning of our heartbreak has been that God would use our loss in some way. That He would speak to others and draw them closer to Himself, and that we would have opportunities to come along side and support people going through similar experiences in the future. I love this verse from Isaiah because it promises that He will do just that. Jess and I want to be like great oaks, planted for the glory of the Lord. During the dark days, this is what I try to cling to. Instead of wallowing I want to look for ways to bless those around me, that I may not have been able to in the past. I wouldn't have had any idea what verses to share with Lelia, another grieving mother, unless I had found verses that comforted me in a similar situation. I would never have known what book to share that spoke to me and comforted me the most unless I had needed that book myself. For this, I thank God. I pray that He continues to give me "beauty for ashes," and make me to be like a great oak for His own glory.
I'm holding tightly to the promises in this verse this week. I had a wonderful trip with my family last week. It was such a blessing to spend such a fun time with my parents and youngest siblings, and an even greater blessing to come home to my wonderful hubby. But now it's today. And Wednesday is just around the corner, and THAT is the day I've been dreading for quite some time. March 21st was supposed to be the day that marked the end of our joyous anticipation, and the realization of so many hopes and dreams. It was supposed to be the beginning of a new era in the Anderson household. An era filling with the sounds of baby cooing and giggling. I should be sitting here now HUGELY pregnant complaining about how uncomfortable I am and how ready I am to have Jude. Instead I'm sitting here blogging to ask you all for continued prayer this week as we come up on not only Jude's due date, but also the 3 month anniversary of his death. Wednesday.
Overall this month has been pretty good. Staying home has been a blessing as we have been able to spend much more time with each other than when I was working. But it has also been hard as we heard news of another dear couple that we know and their devastation at the loss of their first born baby boy. We have felt as though we're living through much of the pain of the beginning all over again with the knowledge of what they are going though. Different circumstances, but ultimately, the pain is the same. We have prayed continually for them, and ask for your prayers for them as well.
One of our biggest prayers almost since the beginning of our heartbreak has been that God would use our loss in some way. That He would speak to others and draw them closer to Himself, and that we would have opportunities to come along side and support people going through similar experiences in the future. I love this verse from Isaiah because it promises that He will do just that. Jess and I want to be like great oaks, planted for the glory of the Lord. During the dark days, this is what I try to cling to. Instead of wallowing I want to look for ways to bless those around me, that I may not have been able to in the past. I wouldn't have had any idea what verses to share with Lelia, another grieving mother, unless I had found verses that comforted me in a similar situation. I would never have known what book to share that spoke to me and comforted me the most unless I had needed that book myself. For this, I thank God. I pray that He continues to give me "beauty for ashes," and make me to be like a great oak for His own glory.
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