This time

(Trigger)

One year ago today we told the world that we were expecting our first baby.    

We were pretty proud of how we did it.          

I still think it's a cute announcement:

Jess' extra curricular reading this winter

Well, this year we have another announcement to make,...

Yep.    :-)

 Another little Anderson is on their way.

We're feeling incredibly blessed. And excited. And scared. Life is an emotional rollercoaster; but by the grace of God, there are more highs than lows these days. We're doing this again. And we feel as ready as we'll ever be, but pregnancy will never be the same for us as it was early on with Jude.

EVERYTHING is so different this time.

If I could have a buck for every time I said or thought about how different THIS TIME is,... I'd buy us a vineyard chateau in France and retire.

This time our joy is quiet.

This time we have no expectations.

This time we are not planning more than a few days in advance.

This time I have nightmares.

This time we know that all we can do is cover our baby in prayer.

This time, when asked if this is our first, I'm tongue tied.

This time we anxiously await our baby's arrival, while still grieving for his/her big brother.

This time, balancing emotions is like walking a tightrope.

This time we won't find out the gender, because we know ALIVE is all that matters. 

This time I mostly hide my baby belly.

This time ultrasounds are terrifying.

This time every day feels like an accomplishment.

The list goes and goes and goes.

Since the pregnancies were only about 6 months apart, my body kicked into gear super quickly. Now, at 15+ weeks I'm almost as big as I was when Jude was born (at 27 weeks). I've been feeling this little one's wiggles for a few weeks now. It's such a reassurance, and I believe a direct gift from God that I've been able to feel him/her so early. Love those wiggles. Today I have wiggles in my womb, and I pray that I will feel those wiggles in my arms come about March 2nd.

It seems to help to be with and talk to other pregnant ladies. Occasionally their naivete frustrates me, but ultimately I think that a little bit of their un-abandoned joy rubs off. They remind me what pregnancy SHOULD be like,... what it used to be like.

Enough for now. 

I just have one request before I sign off: Please be praying for us.
Everything has gone smoothly with the pregnancy so far. I've had a number of ultrasounds with no concerns arising yet. In the back of my mind though is the knowledge that Jude looked fine too, until later on. We have our anatomy scan (the big ultrasound,... the one that changed everything with Jude) coming up on Oct. 2nd. It's scary stuff. We're trying to trust God completely with this baby, but are also painfully aware that trusting God doesn't protect us from difficulties and sorrow.

I'm hoping that if all is well at this next ultrasound I'll feel like I can start actually planning on having a baby. Our first take home baby.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for your thoughts and prayers!