Super-less

Two months! It's been two months since my last blog. That's the longest I've gone without writing in a couple of years. It kind of bums me out, but I'm learning to give myself grace in a lot of areas; and blogging has been one of them. I love to write when I feel as though I have something worthwhile to write about and have the time to do so without sacrificing time with my family. But I don't want to write simply out of a sense of duty. If I do then my content will quickly become rubbish. So, I won't ask forgiveness for my long absences. :-)

One reason for my lack of inspiration is due to Jess being gone for a month to audition at a residency in Mississippi. While there were a number of times the thought of blogging crossed my mind, my priority for any free time was taking either a shower or a nap. Peter and I survived and Jess did really well in Mississippi. We're enjoying his month home now, and storing away blessed family moments for September when he'll be gone again.

I've been learning a lot over the last few months. It's a time of giving myself grace; but learning where grace crosses the line into excuses. I am not supermom or superwife. I am becoming OK with not being any form of super____. But, I'm trying to figure out the balance between trying to be the best mother and wife that I can, without having unreasonable expectations of myself. And on the other end when I realize I'm hopelessly super-less, not allowing my inability to attain perfection to transform me into an apathetic puddle of pity party.

It's slow progress, and I think it will be a work in progress for the rest of my life as different stages come and go. I'm learning to sometimes block out the dirty dishes on the counter, and the piles of laundry in order to play with Peter a while longer. Alternately,I'm learning that I can't let myself feel guilty if I didn't read to him that day, or he went an extra day without getting a bath.

It is a difficult but beautiful process, and though it can be exhausting, I feel so blessed to be living this life. Peter is amazing. He's 5 months old now, weighs about 20 lbs, and is almost outgrowing some of his 12 month clothes. He has two teeth, can sit up on his own, and is starting to eat a few solid foods. The developmental phases are flying by so quickly I can hardly keep track!

It's about bedtime now, so I'll be farewell for now. Hopefully it won't be 2 more months until next time,.... but it might. And if it does I'm not going to apologize. Living this breathtaking life is more important than writing about it. :-)