Someone Else's Life

I sit here at my kitchen table listening to the landscapers finish up their work on our lawn outside, a cup of coffee and a gorgeous Palisade peach next to me, two sleepy dogs at my feet, and feel SO GRATEFUL for this life. I just finished returning an email to a baby-loss mama who saw my story on another web-site, and who also lost her precious little one to Triploidy. I both hate and love getting these emails. I love that they have found me, and love the opportunity to reach out and encourage them; but I HATE that other baby-loss mamas exist, and I hate the pain that they are experiencing. Anyway, part way through the email, as I was asking this other mama if she felt like she had begun to find her "new normal" it hit me. 

This. Is. My. Life. This is my new normal. I take a step back and look at this beautiful, messy, life, and it doesn't feel like mine. Certainly not what I expected/wanted!

If you had told me a year ago that this would be my life today, I wouldn't have believed you. I would have wondered how I could survive. I wouldn't have wanted this life!

But today, having lived it, I love it. Is there still pain? Yes. But there is so much beauty and joy in the midst of it! 

This may never totally feel like MY life, but that's because it's not the life I chose for myself. It's the life God chose to give to me; and while it is not without pain, it is good.

Psalm 30:11-12

You turned my wailing into Dancing;

You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

That my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.

I'm Baaaack!!!

Hello, hello, hello!!!!

I haven't had any internet in a month, so I'm so pleased that it *seems* to be working this morning! We'll see how far I get, but hopefully I'll get a quick update out there!

Life has been so crazy! I don't even know where to start! Let's go chronologically....

Jess got his board scores back,... and what do you know,... I married a freakin' genius! He did super well on both exams, which is such a reassurance that all his dedication and hard work is paying off,... and that God is providing and paving the way! Even though the med school journey is definitely challenging, God's clear hand of blessing on Jess' work helps us know that we are in His will, and therefore it will absolutely be worth it!

He started his rotations in early August, and is almost done with his first one which has been in Internal Medicine. It worked out really well, because he knew this would be an area he was interested in, and so far he has really enjoyed it! The docs he's been working with have been helpful and gracious, while also pushing him to learn and grow. It's been an exciting time for him to get in the hospital and start experiencing what life can be like as a physician!

Annnnnnnnd that brings me to our HOUSE!!!! We absolutely love it! We've been in here for about a month now (hence the reason for no internet for a month) and we're really feeling settled in. Here are a few pics!

Our bedroom:

My kitchen, which I'm in love with!!!!

 Dining room:

Upstairs family room:

Downstairs living room:

another of the downstairs living room:

We're getting the yard worked on this week,... hopefully we'll have sod in by friday! There will still be alot of work to do out there,... it's going to be a continual work in progress, but hopefully we'll be able to start enjoying it this weekend! The dogs are going to LOVE having grass to play on! And I can't wait to start planing flower beds!

Speaking of dogs and beds,....

She's getting big, but I still think she's the cutest puppy in the world!

Almost 6 months: (helping me fold laundry)

There are about 50 million other things I could write about,... but I have a few other things I reeeeally need to get done while we still have internet! (Maybe the previous problems with it have been solved, and it's up for good, in which case I'll be back soon!)

Much love,