Omniscient. Omnipotent. Omnipresent. Omnibenevolent.

WARNING: This blog contains severe rambling and also some blubbering. Read at your own risk.

Me yesterday: “OK God,… I know you’re up there all omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, omnibenevolent, and all those other omni-words that I don’t know (ok, I’ve gotta admit that I cheated on the omnibenevolent one, I actually only knew the other three)… and that SHOULD mean that you haven’t forgotten me down here on my own,…. But sometimes it sure feels that way.”

Still waiting. I don’t know about you (especially considering I have no idea who you are reading this blog at this exact moment) but sometimes I feel forgotten. Certainly in the last 5 months, but even before then, there have been times when God has felt so distant,… and I have not been able to see His hand in my life (The argument could be made that I have not been able to see His hand working because it didn’t do what I thought it should do and therefore ignored or didn’t recognize it,… but that point’s already been made in previous posts,….)  (OK, I seriously need to stop with the parentheses (welcome to my rabbit-trail mind).).

I’m sure you know what I mean; times when you feel a bit abandoned. I had a serious melt-down last night because I felt so forgotten. I was supposed to hear back about the job that I’ve been interviewing for by mid-week; yesterday afternoon when I still hadn’t heard back I called. She simply told me that they were still waiting on my background check. My logical brain calmly states: “that means that they’re still interested, and don’t forget: God’s in control.” My emotional brain passionately wails: “I’M SO SICK AND TIRED OF WAITING!!!!! WHY CAN’T IT JUST GO SMOOTHLY AND QUICKLY!!!!! IT ISN’T FAIR! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!” And commence the blubbering on my hubby’s shoulder.

Jess hugged me; he told me everything was going to be OK; and then promptly introduced pizza, beer, and re-runs of The Office which helped significantly. I married the perfect guy.

I’ve just been digesting the situation today and I know that the root of the issue is almost always the same for me: trusting God in every circumstance. The specific manifestation of that issue this week was having patience while trusting and waiting for His provision. Patience has never been my strongest characteristic,… I think that I will probably struggle with having patience my whole life. (It’s one more fruit of the Spirit that it really is up to HIM to manifest in my life!) The other thought that I had was: how consistent have I been at spending time reading my Bible and praying this week? The answer: NOT consistent enough.

So, after some serious rambling and blubbering (you were warned), the conclusion that I’m left with is this:

Next time I’m feeling a heavy sense abandonment or like I’ve been forgotten, I need to ask myself these questions (preferably BEFORE the blubbering commences):

1. Have I been in the WORD? The armor of God in Ephesians 6 mentions the Gospel of Peace. Sounds like that might be helpful.

2. What fruit of the Spirit would be helpful in dealing with this situation (Galatians 5:22-23)? These are characteristics that are part of a package deal when we accept Christ as our Savior and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. As believers we should manifest all of these every day. I want to remember to specifically pray for the manifestation of peace and patience in my life; every day, and ESPECIALLY when my emotional brain starts go a little crazy on me.

3. Finally, Am I, right now in this moment, trusting that God is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent? (And any other omni-word I don’t know about…)

Because He is.