tomorrow!

I'm having a baby tomorrow!

I'm nervous about the C-section,... but my primary feeling is that I'm just ready for it to be over so I can hold my little guy!

Here are a few pictures Jess and I took today. The last of the belly pictures!

My friend Janelle made this GORGEOUS quilt for Peter. Isn't it beautiful? The fabric matches everything in the nursery so perfectly! I absolutely love it!

I've been thinking a lot about Jude this week. We're so excited and have so much joy about welcoming Peter into our family, that it makes Jude's absence feel fresh again. Jess and I both also continue to battle some doubt and fear that everything really will go as it should. Having come through such a painful loss, we sometimes still find it hard to believe that we'll actually be able to bring a baby home this time.

 Then we sang the song Blessed Be Your Name in church this morning. It was so perfect. Remembering Jude, and anticipating Peter; and trusting God with both of them.

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Thank you all for your continued prayers! I can't wait to get some pictures of my little man on here later this week!

Ready

I think we're about as ready as we can be at this point!

The nursery is all set up. His clothes, diapers, and blankets are all washed and put away. The carseat is in the car. His diaper bag is packed for the hospital. The co-sleeper is set up and ready.....

Now all we need is a baby!

It looks *fairly* certain at this point that he will be arriving by C-section. We tried the version last week and all that accomplished was convincing me even more that he's going to be a very strong-willed child, as well as turning my belly a variety of lovely bluish/purplish shades. 

"ouch"

That's all I have to say about that. It was worth a try though. I know that there is still time for him to flip on his own, and I'm not ruling it out yet,... but I'm also working on making peace with the idea of a scheduled C-section.

The hippy-mama in me is just cringing. BUT I'm also SO grateful that we live in the day of modern medicine so that I don't have to put my little guy at the increased risk of a vaginal breech delivery.

There's also a good-sized part of me that's a little anxious about the prospect of having surgery. I've never even had stitches before,... much less any kind of major surgery. I think part of my worry comes from the idea that I've told myself my whole life that I'm a pretty tough girl. I grew up with four brothers,... played rough and tumble. I've always thought I had a pretty high pain tolerance,...

But with the prospect of that actually being tested,... I'm nervous I might find out that I'm a big weenie after all! It may sound silly,... but I'm afraid that I'll be so uncomfortable after the surgery that I won't be able to completely enjoy it when I finally get to hold my little guy.

I've waited so long to get to hold a *living* baby I can call my own.

I'm already disappointed that I won't get to hold him right away like I could with a normal delivery.

I don't want that moment to be any less beautiful when it finally does happen.

So we're praying for peace either way. Still working on having the attitude of simply abiding in Christ, and enjoying these last few weeks with my hubby before our lives change forever!

Unless I go into labor on my own sooner, or he flips we're having a baby on February 25th.

That's 2 weeks from today! Crazy. :-)