If you were here

If you were here I would wish you a happy 1/2 birthday.

If you were here I would have pulled you into bed with us this morning and snuggled you, and smiled down at you while you nursed. I would have kissed your perfect little nose, and every little finger and toe.

If you were here I would have changed your diaper and made sure you wore your cutie little froggie cloth diaper today; because today you are 6 months old, and that's pretty special. Definitely a froggie diaper day. Even though I know it will only last an hour or two.

If you were here I would have put you in a cute little pair of jean shorts and the shirt we got you that says: hide your daughters. :-) Because that shirt is my favorite. And today is a day for favorites. I would put an itty bitty cap on your head, lather you up with sunscreen, and we'd go for a nice early morning walk. Just you and me and the dogs. You'd ride in your awesome Beco baby carrier I bought you. You would love it.

If you were here you'd take a nap with daddy on the couch after our walk. You'd sleep peacefully on his lap while he studies away. He'd look down at you with the same look of pride he had on his face as when we found out you were a boy.

If you were here I'm sure you'd fuss. I would swaddle you and hold you and do everything I could think of to  make you feel better. I might feel desperate after a while; but only because I love you so much that I don't want you to be unhappy.

If you were here you'd love the dogs. I'd put you in your swing and let you watch them jump around and play. You would giggle; and I would giggle because your giggle is contagious.

If you were here we'd visit with Gramma and Grampa Storey for dinner. They can't wait to see you. Grampa would make faces at you until you smiled, and Gramma wouldn't let you go all evening (Aunt Cara and Aunt Amy would gripe about it for sure.). Then we'd skype Granny-Mur before bed; because she needs to see you on your 1/2 birthday too!

If you were here we'd put you to bed and fall onto the couch exhausted. We'd have a cup of decaf then go to bed ourselves apprehensive of the moment we heard you wake up hungry. But then I'd roll over, and see your beautiful face and smile despite the fatigue. I'd pull you into our bed, look into your big blue eyes and be so happy to see you.

Happy 1/2 birthday sweet boy.

Puppers!

I Once again find myself needing to apologize for my blogging delinquency!

The Last few months have been absolutely crazy and blogging is one of the many things that falls by the way side when I get overwhelmed and busy. But, while the last 3 weeks HAVE been totally overwhelming and busy, they have also been super blessed. 

I fact, I think they've probably been the best 3 weeks I've had since we lost Jude.

I still think of him every day. I still long to hold him in my arms. I still struggle to know how much to share about him with those around me. I still miss him with every fiber of my being,... but I think I'm starting to really learn how to embrace my here and now. Today is what I've been given. I can choose joy despite my circumstances, and focus on all the things I have to be thankful for. 

It is still hard some days; and sometimes I still feel like being truly happy is betraying Jude's memory in some way, but it's getting easier. 

This cutie-face sure helps:

Meet Lola!

I call her my therapy dog. She is too! She's such a snuggle bug.

We got her just a few days before we were moving to Grand Junction. It was totally chaotic and we really questioned our sanity for the first little while, but now we are both SOOOOO glad we got her. She really is a great puppy. My mom keeps saying she's just like Marley, from Marley and Me. She's trouble sometimes, but just look at that face! :-)

She is a Golden Retriever/Brittany Spaniel mix, we got her when she was 11 weeks old, and she's almost 14 weeks now. She's already half again as big as she was when we got her. She and Libby are getting along great (most of the time):

The weekend before we moved, String of Pearls had a butterfly release memorial ceremony for all of their baby loss families. It was a beautiful day at the park, and there was something really magical seeing those butterflies taking off toward our little ones in Heaven. It was also a blessing to chat with and get to know some of the other families there and hear their stories. While I wish that no one else ever had to through what we did with Jude, it's super comforting to know there are others out there that 'get it.' It helps us feel less lonely. Here are a few pictures from the butterfly release:

So now we've been in GJ for two weeks. Everything is going smoothly with our house, it's just a slow process. Right now the closing is set for July 17th, and we're hoping to be able to bump it up a little sooner, but don't know if it will happen. We are SO blessed to be able to stay at my parents house in the mean time. 

I started my job last week and it's going fabulously. It's at the Endoscopy Center that I worked for in college and alot of the staff is the same. It's going to be a great fit for now. I really enjoy the people I'm working with, and it's a very low stress environment; especially compared to where I have been. It's such a blessing!

I'm working alot this month as I get oriented and learn the different roles, but then I should be working about 2-3 days a week. It will be perfect for when we move into our new house and are getting settled. 

In other news....

My honey is a hunk!

He ran the Tough Mudder with some friends on Sunday and had a blast!

We met a bunch of our friends from Parker up at the Beaver Creek ski resort and the studly dudes all ran, while the wifey's did our best to take pictures of them along the way. It was so much fun even just to watch! 

(For those of you who aren't familiar with the Tough Mudder, it's a 12 mile extreme obstacle course race.)

He has me talked into doing it next year if we don't have another wee one on the way yet. 

Other than impressing me with his awesome Tough Muddering prowess Jess has been completely buried in books. He takes his first boards exam in just about 2 weeks now, and has been faithfully studying away. We would both appreciate your prayers that these exams would go well for him!

That's about it for now. I have the day off today and need to get somethings done; including go to the doctor for this super obnoxious cough I've had for a week now. :-(

As life slows down and we're able to get into the groove of routine I'm hoping to find the time to keep up better on here. That may or may not happen until this fall though.

One more picture of my Lola girl for you:

Until next time!